I would NOT do the breath of fire if I were you.

I am taking everything about the breath of fire, or fire breathing, OFF of this blog. I have had shortness of breath today, and an uncomfortable feeling in my chest.

Don't do it. I think I was doing it way too much, for one thing.

Don't do it.

I'm not.

The Universal Life Force Energy Exchange

I have also been working on this book practically NONSTOP.

Long really good weekend

I had a really good, long weekend. Christine and I watched a movie about women in Ethiopia who needed surgery. It was very heartbreaking and also very heartwarming, called: A walk to beautiful. It was really amazing.

Then we watched the first episode of Six Feet Under. We had watched the whole series before, but after much cajoling, Christine relented and agreed to watch it with me. It was really awesome.

Feeling good... GREAT

I am feeling really good physically. My back feels completely normal, and I am able to play soccer with my son, which by the way, is really fantastic exercise. I am not going to try and carve out time to exercise out of my schedule: I am just going to kick the soccer ball with Sky. I do two things at once: exercise, and time with my son. Cool!

Going great

My plan of eating cliff bars during the day is going really good.

And... my back pain is completely gone and has stayed gone for over a week now. A record!

Most of my days I am anxiously waiting our referral!

SLAM - new powerful challenge NEXT 90 DAYS!

For the next 180 days, or when I reach less than 150 pounds, which ever comes sooner:



Diet:

1. For 5 days each week, I will eat nothing but Larabars during the day, and one small meal at night consisting of brown rice, Quinoa, or other whole grain, steamed veggies, almonds, ETC. One small simple meal, and that is it.

2. For 2 nights a week, I will allow myself the joy of eating regular american cooked meals, either eating out, or eating at home.

3. I will take a multi-vitamin twice a day.

4. My usual Vitalagy and tea.

5. Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES, will I eat ANYTHING AT ALL past my evening meal! Night-time eating has been the death of every healthy diet I have ever been on. I JUST DON'T EAT AT ALL PAST MY NIGHT-TIME MEAL!

6. I will drink as much water as I can, but I will not water-log myself.

Spiritual:

1. I will do 10 minute Infinite Beingness Breathing Meditation at least 4 times a day, or MORE. (or two 20 minute breathing meditations) (This is a breathing meditation where I use my creative imagination and visualize my cells, atoms, heart and mind opening on each deep inhaling breath, and then rest into the Infinite Space between my cells and atoms on each long and smooth exhaling breath. I keep my breaths circular and continuous for the whole time.)

2. I will do my regular spiritual practice every day.

3. I will channel Love into The Universal Life-Force Energy Exchange (I am almost done with the book!) every single day for at least 12 minutes at a time. (I can combine this with the Infinite Beingness Meditation) (Sending Loving Vibrations to our GIRL AMELIE, to bring her home!!!!!)

Note: I have been feeling the presence of my little girl in my Energy Space lately, even though I still haven't seen her face. Her vibrations are here!

4. Of course, I will continue to deeply reflect, concentrate, ask, and release the 108 Infinite Beingness Questions into my mind, heart, cells, and atoms every day. (AEvery day of 2009 so far) Up to now, I have been doing this without much active concentration or focus - but from this point forward, I am going to INTENSELY work with these questions.

5. I will continue to do my spiritual and emotional healing work on myself for the ultimate benefit of my family, relatives, and all the world.

6. I will continue to empty myself in SERVICE to the Divine in my wife and children, in myself, and in the Universe.


Exercise:

1. I will start with walking, and build up to running at least 15 miles a week. This may take some time. I won't transition into running, until I feel healthy enough.

I will also do whatever I can to continue healing my lower back issues.


All of this, I do for my little girl, Amelie, and for my wife and family and all my extended family, relatives, community and the world. I dedicate my healing journey to the greatest benefit of all life on this planet.

There is a Quantum Law operating here

Everything I try and do for my health and awakening, I do for others.

What we do to improve and cleanse and heal and awaken OURSELVES, we automatically do to improve and cleanse and heal and awaken OTHERS.

When we are fully present with ourselves, we are present for all of humanity.

I am absolutely committed - where did I put my IRON FIST?

I am absolutely committed to shedding excess weight and thought and energy and emotion before we get our daughter back from Ethiopia. I am going to drop this weight for her. Not just fat-weight, but emotion-weight, thought-weight.

Screeching on the brakes - are my brake pads worn down?

I feel like I am screeching on the brakes in my mind, when it comes to my eating habits. It is very frustrating, of one simple axiom about myself:

I am ALL or NOTHING when I do something. Forget just eating in moderation, because once I start, I start gorging and pigging-out. I eat and eat, and eat and eat.

I say to myself,

"This is me compulsively eating."

And I keep eating.

I say to myself,

"I am done with all this excessive eating," as I eat breakfast cereal after a huge dinner, as I graze and graze and graze. I notice myself doing it, and I do it anyway.

I am either eating grass every day for XXXX number of days, or I am back to my old EAT EAT EAT mindset.

And so, I hide from this blog because I have done so many challenges and fell off of so many challenges, it is hard to start up again.

But I will start up again. I will challenge myself again. I will, because if I don't push and challenge myself, I will plunge back into CHUNK-VILLE!

back and forth

I have been long absent, again from writing in this blog. After my last post declaring how well my back pain was, it went out AGAIN. Whatever.

I went to a really good chiropractor, and now it is feeling really well. At least for now.

Thank you, Jason.

I could hardly walk on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, couldn't bend, couldn't sit, couldn't straighten.

And now, I just heaved three bags of mulch over the back fence. I am SIMPLY AMAZED at how awesome and effective acupuncture is, and more so, how amazing Jason Hamm is as a therapist. He intuits what is needed, and uses the needles to open the floodgates of my meridian system. I am really happy with how I feel. Within a few days, its like the clouds of severe, debilitating back pain pass away like clouds floating across the sky.

I am feeling great!!!

Totally incapacitated... almost

I have been absent without an excuse from this blog. And yes, it is my back pain. I felt a wave of rage well up, and overwhelm my body a few days ago. Of course, I didn't rage - but instead witnessed it. After not sleeping much, the next morning I felt horrible. My back pain came back with a roaring vengeance.

This was Tuesday. The next day, I went for another acupuncture treatment, and the day after that, this morning, it was the worst it has been. I could hardly get out of bed, and worse, it was very difficult to walk, bend, or do anything that required any movement.

YET... I do feel that the energy is unplugged, and flowing down different channels of my body. The acupuncture, just like last time, is working. I can feel it.

Jason, my acupuncturist, said that I need to invoke the "warrior energy" and decide to go deep and look at this stuff square in the eyes withour shrinking, and without getting attached to it either. When he put the very tiny needles in my lower back and buttock muscles, legs, hands, head, and feet, it really stung this time. My muscles felt inflamed. 

Then... laying on the table, I entered a really transcendent state of relaxation. I felt like I was being suspended in air or something. Really, really amazing - this feeling of energy relaxation.

After my treatment yesterday, I was tired all day. Fell asleep watching Hitchcocks most boring movie ever: Vertigo. Then went to bed, slept good all night....

And found it very, very hard to get out of bed this morning. Going from a laying down position, to a sitting position, to a standing position was A VERY LONG JOURNEY.

At 5 oclock I gave myself a half hour energy healing session. It was really amazing. I sent energy to the 6th year of life, when I turned five to when I turned 6. 1972-1974. During my session, I remember something my acupuncturist told me: If it was just Chi---it would be cleared out. There is something attached to it, some kind of deep emotion. And during my session this afternoon, I have the answer.

It is a place. 1230 Querida Drive, Colorado Springs Colorado. The last house on the left. More specifically, the basement of that house. From 1972 through 1975, thats where most all of the horrible stuff happened to me, stuff that my mind still keeps hidden from me to protect me. I firmly believe that I am carrying this one story red brick house in my lower back, stored as memories, traumas, nightmares. And my lower back is trauma inflicted upon me by very sick people during that time period.

I am going to that house, and I am walking down into the basement, and I am sending Light, Love, Joy - into that basement. With me I am bringing Yogananda, Yukteswar, Lahiri Mahasaya, Babaji, Krishna, Jesus, Ananda Moyi Ma, Gandalf from the Lord of the Rings, Hanuman, and any and all other Masters. We are going to sing in that basement, chant in that basement, dance in that basement, and bring in the light. I am going to blast that basement with the most powerful Love I have ever felt.

And those sick bastards are leaving. They are being evicted! And I am going to shake up and transmute that house into Light!

The big questions

I absolutely LOVE asking the big questions, pondering deeply upon them, and diving into their depths. I totally believe that human beings are on the verge of something truly spectacular... really... really... really SPECTACULAR.

Do you feel it?

I know I do.

Here are some really big, freaky, weird questions that, in the eyes of regular old MUGGLES, would make me look insane:

Is the Universe, I mean all of it, contained within the cells and atoms of the human body? How could I find out for sure? Or am I insane for asking?

Will the energy needs of the future be powered by the fingertips of people in deep meditation?

When human beings, who are only aware of about 2,000 bits of information (out of the 400 billion bits of information being processed EACH SECOND), are able to access the deepest powers of the human brain, body, and energy field - will we know how to fly?

Will we be able to levitate on command?

Will we be able to float through the air like birds?

Will humans be able to time travel?

Will we be able to relocate out bodies to any place in time or space simply by thinking ourselves there?

If my body is an illusion, comprised of empty space, then what is real?

What is real?

What is reality?

What is the difference between reality and my perception of reality?

Am I really one with all other human beings? Are they inside me, really truly? Am I inside them?

What is the nature of my being? What is the nature of energy?

Am I energy? Am I thoughts? Am I thoughts, energy, or both?

What are thoughts anyway? Am I my thoughts? Can I escape them? Can I witness them?

If I am not my thoughts, then who in the world, AM I?

Who am I?

How did I get here?

What am I supposed to do?

Is any of this real?

Am I real?

If God created the world, who created God? (A logical question I have asked since being really small)

Are all of these questions just intellectual entertainment by a crazy man pretending to be sane? Or by a sane man hoping for a chance to go a little crazy?

What defines crazy? What defines insane? What would be considered sane on the level of the conscious thinking mind, that is really CRAZY INSANE on the deeper quantum levels?

What is SANE on the quantum level, but INSANE on the level of the 5 sense world?

Why is it that 2 particles can be in two places at once?

Is it possible to access the Universe within this body merely by combining the forces of my BREATH, IMAGINATION, and LOVE? Are there galaxies in my fingertips? Am I one with all life on this planet and in the Universe?

Is there more than one Universe? Is the human body, combined with the mind, the most powerful technology on the planet?

Is the human body an intersecting point between multiple Universes?

Are white holes and black holes merely portals to other Universes?

How many dimensions are operating simultaneously within me now? Can I go there? Please?

AM I a limitless, boundless soul pretending to be the small body for this tiny commercial of eternity? How can I find out for sure?

What do I ABSOLUTELY KNOW that I don't know? What don't I know what I ABSOLUTELY KNOW?

What do I know for sure with my emotions and intuition, that I deny with my logical mind?

How am I perceiving reality right now? In what ways could I change my perception of reality? Can I change my perceptions? If I can, will I? What would I have to let-go of in my life in order to alter my perception of reality?

What am I doing with my life? What is the difference between what I AM CAPABLE of doing with my life and what I AM ACTUALLY doing with my life?

What talents and gifts am I wasting by watching all this television and movies? What talents and gifts have I yet to discover I even have?

Am I psychic? Is there a way to develop my psychic abilities? Is everyone psychic? What psychic information am I receiving now, but denying that I am receiving?

Am I denying who I am to please someone else? Am I able to live and breathe and BE who I am in the silence of my own mind without saying a word to anyone? What makes me, me?

What makes me alive?

Why am I breathing? What is the breath? How can I use the breath to awaken my ability to comprehend the Universe?

Are humans able to comprehend reality? Or are we forever locked into our perceptions based upon the construct that our brains present us with?

Is the mind beyond the brain? Is there a difference between the mind and the brain? Are there areas of my mind that are beyond all thoughts, and that actually witness the thoughts in my brain? Who is watching these thoughts?

Is it possible to completely shut off my thoughts? What would it be like to be in a brain that is completely empty of thought? Who am I that is witnessing myself think? Am I even thinking? OR do I just think I am thinking?

Am I even seeing what I think I see, or am I seeing my brains construction of what it thinks I am seeing? Is my brains construction of what I am seeing represent TRUE REALITY? Or am I delusional? Am I happy to be in delusion, or would I rather be free? Am I willing to let-go of the comfort of delusion for the bliss of being free? Am I delusional, or am I the silent witness forever watching delusion?

What risks am I willing to take to discover really truly who I am?

Just a few questions that have always haunted me.

Which wants haunt you?

What the BLEEP do we know?

I have been reading this book lately, and my mind is bending into pretzel shapes all day, and at times it feels like the Universe has my head in a vice, and is squeezing.

All the quantum physics talk absolutely thrills me out of my body!!

drought?

It seems I am experiencing somewhat of a drought in "blogging enthusiasm" lately. I am still doing well, and all seems really good.