Screeching on the brakes - are my brake pads worn down?

I feel like I am screeching on the brakes in my mind, when it comes to my eating habits. It is very frustrating, of one simple axiom about myself:

I am ALL or NOTHING when I do something. Forget just eating in moderation, because once I start, I start gorging and pigging-out. I eat and eat, and eat and eat.

I say to myself,

"This is me compulsively eating."

And I keep eating.

I say to myself,

"I am done with all this excessive eating," as I eat breakfast cereal after a huge dinner, as I graze and graze and graze. I notice myself doing it, and I do it anyway.

I am either eating grass every day for XXXX number of days, or I am back to my old EAT EAT EAT mindset.

And so, I hide from this blog because I have done so many challenges and fell off of so many challenges, it is hard to start up again.

But I will start up again. I will challenge myself again. I will, because if I don't push and challenge myself, I will plunge back into CHUNK-VILLE!