6,048 Transcendent Self-Love Mantras

I believe that we all - at our essence - are made from a Love that is Transcendent, Divine, Eternal, True, Beautiful, and Everlasting. I think that we can use our breath and imaginations to open up the portals of our cells and atoms and rise our consciousness into that Transcendent Love. And I think that we can then BLOW that Love - unconditionally - regardless of how good or bad we may be feeling in the moment - back into ourselves. Kind of like the Soul is Loving Itself.

I just completed 6,048 of these Mantras, and today, I tweaked it just a bit.

For some reason, this version of the Mantra feels so much better for me. I feel so much more of an energetic charge from it. As I Love my Whole Self - body, mind, spirit, emotions, memories, dreams, pains, confusions, triumphs, past, future, now - the whole SheBang - I am automatically transmitting that same Love to all within me - the rest of humanity. Again, I truly believe that I am one with you - that you are one with me - that I am you - that you are me - that we are born, sustained, live, and melt into the same Energy, the same Love, the same Destiny.

This Thanksgiving - the whole concept of unconditional Love has been thrown back in my face in one of the most vile ways imaginable. My son did something that I cannot even repeat - and has thrown myself and my wife into a tailspin of shock, trauma, and disbelief. Nothing life-threatening - but something truly shocking. And so, my brain, body, and emotions are spinning - and I keep repeating this Mantra. It has been challenging - being at home throughout this break, day in and day out, living with these issues and all the anger and sadness it brings up - to just keep on vibrating the Mantra.

I believe that when I call in the highest vibration of Love into my mind and body, the ego will - in the most vile way it can - fight back. Maybe Sky doing what he did was the ego fighting back - maybe it is just a willful and unrepentant 8 year old body testing his parents in the most rage-filled way he can.

I want to help him - to step in - to go into his brain and fix his problems. I am panicking on so many levels. Holy God, what kind of life is he going to lead if he is acting so psychotically at age 8? What can I do to stop him from going down that path?

FIRST, and foremost, I need to continue healing myself. PARENTS, HEAL THYSELF! This is going through my mind. If I can do that - and stay sane even though I want to react to his behavior by "numbing out" - then I am serving Sky (and Prasad, and Amelie, and Sorin, and Liam) in the most effective, primordial way possible. IF WE, AS PARENTS CAN HEAL OURSELVES, THEN THIS WILL BE OUR CHILDREN'S SILENT INHERITANCE.

Can I go ahead of him, and tinker with the railroad tracks he is on, and try and divert the train away from the self-destructive path it seems like he is on?

For starters, I have written a short positive script to read him while he sleeps every night.

For seconds, I am going to start giving him energy therapy as often as possible.

For thirds, is the concept of therapy. I could get him a no-needle acupuncture to try and clear out the fear and rage that is within him. Then there is the other kind of therapy - psychotherapy. But that can get expensive.

When we had our family meeting, we were asking Sky what he was thinking when he did what he did, and he said:

"I felt madder at you and mom than I have ever felt..." and then his face contorted into rage for a split second, and it was like a window opened. I could see into the depth of that rage. And it frightened me.

But Love is more powerful than rage - because rage is always sitting on a pool of some other emotion, like powerlessness, fear, grief, loss. The feelings are so powerful - one does not know how to deal with it. Love is eternal. Rage is temporary.

The first time I remember starting to "rage" was in 1975 - when my family traveled to Independence Missouri for my uncle Harley's funeral. (This was after a few years of total blank in my mind where I am really certain that a lot of really horrid stuff happened to me at the hands of very sick people)

Us kids were walking down the street, and these other kids came up to us and started talking. This one kid was on his bike, he started talking trash to me. Telling everyone how he could kick my ass. And he wouldn't shut up. He just kept on, and kept on.

Until the lights went bright and blurry - and I burst over the bike and started to beat the hell out of him. I went blank. It was like some other energy swooped through me and I felt like I was not in my body at all. I was punching and punching him on the ground. He was bawling, and my cousin and brother had to pull me off of him. Following that incident, was several more over the years - including going FIST CRAZY on a huge football player in 9th grade - even though he was way, WAY bigger and WIDER than me.

So what am I trying to say? Maybe, just maybe I am saying that there is still more to heal and Sky is my teacher, reflecting back to me stuff I still need to heal.

And maybe, he has his own issues - but from where do they come from? He is not being abused. He has had this "UP YOURS" attitude since he was 3 years old - HE SIMPLY CANNOT STAND to be controlled, to have consequences, to have things taken away, to not get his way - and he reacts with seething rage every time he is denied something that he wants. And boy does he want, and want, and want, and want, and demand and demand and demand and demand. It never stops.

On the other hand, he is sweet and soft and kind and loves his family in the most beautiful way possible. He loves us, he loves his brother, he is loyal, smart, and has a deep softness about his heart.

But I am shaken - shaken but bot broken.

I will keep calling in this Love - this Transcendent Love - into my mind and body - and take the next step with Sky and my other kids.

Whatever that might be.