Day 44 - Shift

~~ Communicated the Life-Energy/Love again this morning ~~

I have been sleep deprived lately, because I would rather get up and experience the joy of feeling Universal Energy cascade through my hands. However, it has begun to catch up with me. Yesterday I got up around 5:45 and it made for an extremely long day. On top of that, I have decided to begin eating one solid meal a day, in the evening, while drinking my nourishment during the day. Yesterday, I was extremely hungry, cranky, and tired all day long. I was a ravenous monster by the time I got home. We ordered Indian food, and I snarkled it down like a man lost in the desert who just came across some food.

For many, many reasons and for many years (http://www.joyblisslove.blogspot.com is my prior blog which talks about diet issues) I have been carrying around excess energy in the form of extra fat cells on my body. I am not obese, but I am just over what would be considered healthy. I have done many fasts and all of them have been absolutely amazing. There is so much to be learned and discovered about myself by safe and effective fasting. However, it has been a struggle for me, and so I have decided to go down to one solid "chewing" meal a day for at least one year. Yesterday was day one, and it sucked.

Today, however, I am experiencing a major inward shift in my consciousness. I really cannot put it into words. It really doesn't have anything to do with my diet, and food - it more has to do with glimpses into a realization that I am not anything I am doing. I am not these fingers that are typing on this keyboard. I am not this breath, these thoughts, nor am I this body or any of these emotions or thoughts. I am not this brain. I am something completely beyond all that, and that Something is beyond my ability to describe it, except to say this: I am feeling a calmness, a peace, a strange type of "witnessing detachment" that feels really good.

I also notice these familiar little thoughts creeping around the house of my mind that wants to forget this Universal Life-Force Energy Exchange, that wants to move onto something else, that wants to find fault with it, that wants to stop doing this every day. I welcome these thoughts into the parlor room of my mind, and I will witness them. I just shine the light on them, and love them.

One such creature thought manifests like this, "12 years is a long time. There is no way you are going to make it. Too much can happen in 12 years to derail you. It's such a long, long time. Come back to reality.

My response: In the silent dimension of Love, all time is witnessed in the same eternal now. There really is no 12 years, there is only now. Every 12 minutes is one 12 minutes, every now moment is inner-mixed with every other now moment. Its all happening at the same eternal center of now. But thank you for sharing. Your welcome to stay and get warm by the fire.

Another such creature thought says, "Are you just fantasizing that this Universal Love really is going to all these places and people and making a difference in the world? What if all of this is not real?"

My response: If this is a fantasy, then it is one that makes me happy. Who care if it is, and who cares if it isn't. The tears coming down my face when I transmit this Energy tells me intuitively that this is real, however. You are also welcome here.

Another, "You are just trying to sell a book, you greedy %$^&%##"

My response: So what. There is nothing wrong with it. I like it. It made me happy writing it, and it makes me happy filling it with names and photographs and sending the Love into and through this Exchange every day. If it sells, I am wrapped in the Ecstatic Surge of Love. If not a single person ever buys it, then I will still be wrapped in the Ecstatic Surge of Love!

And another, "You are egotistical and full of yourself to think you can transmit Universal Love to thousands of people at the same time. What do you think you are, God?"

My response: I am created in the Image of Infinite Love - this means I am one with Infinite Love. Infinite Love can only create Infinite Love. So yes, I am the wave on the Ocean of Love, and being such a wave, I am one with the whole Ocean. And I will say this back to you: it is egotistical to hide from the magnificence within us. It is egotistical to be a coward and hide our faces from the brilliant light of Love shining through us. It is egotistical to claim that we are small, powerless, pitiful human bodies lost our greatness. It is time to stop being afraid of that brilliance, magnificence, joy, peace, and power that we are, at our core, and one with each other.

I allow every thought, every negative fear, every hiding face in my mind to just be, because I know that I am not any of them. I am beginning to see, to feel, and to directly experience that I am...

That I simply am...

That this I AM is completely still, silent, beyond, behind, and within all thoughts.

Okay - back to the idea of eating one solid meal a day

Got kind of sidetracked there. Even though my beingness is beyond thoughts, thoughts are still powerful packets of energy that literally create our bodies out of the Quantum Soup of the Universe. Everything we experience, whether it is hunger, pain, pleasure - whether we have more weight on our bodies than we want - whatever it is - has a thought behind it. A thought says, "I haven't had breakfast, therefore I am hungry." Yes, it is a physical sensation in the stomach that growls and groans and asks for food, but which comes first, the sensation in the belly that reaches the brain, or the brain sending signals to the belly? It is really hard to tell.

To the point.

Today, I have told myself very strongly, and have held these thoughts in mind, that I AM NOT HUNGRY. I have switched off the hunger signals: the emotional, mental, and physical hunger switches in my mind. And I am feeling much, much better today. I feel a little hungry, but not anything like the misery I went through yesterday. And I haven't had a shake yet today. So its all in the mind.

Here are a few things I believe and a few things I am discovering about food and eating:

It is a myth to think that we need to eat three meals a day. In fact, the more we overload our digestive system day in and day out, the shorter our lifespans will be. Anthony Robbins said, "Eat less to eat more, meaning if you eat less, you will live longer, and end up eating a lot more in the long-run" or something like that.

I am more receptive to the feelings of Energy and Love flowing through me when I consume less food. I am happier when I am on the hungry side than when I am on the full side.

I still have this compulsive eating entity within me - it started in childhood when I realized that eating a lot of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, on after another, put a blanket over my emotional pain and helped me not feel it. I welcome this little guy into this silent, powerful, dimension of Love.