Okay - I AM WEIRD

After five days of counting the days backwards, I have changed my mind on that point. It makes my brain hurt. My wife, Jill, thought it was weird, but didn't tell me. She is used to it by now. Anyway, I am changing the posts to reflect a counting upwards to day 1,095 instead of down. Now my brain won't hurt anymore.

Day 4 - Feeling awesome

Yesterday, I did not blog, but I did have a really awesome 20 minute Energy transmission session - channeling the AUM vibration through my heart and hands - bathing these entire 1,095 days of my life, and of all contained in this Exchange - in this Universal, Unconditional Love. To me, that is what Aum is. Aum is the sound of Love - and many Eastern Mystics say that Aum is the sound that actually gave birth to all form. It is the Quantum Field. When I send the Aum, I really feel like I drop into this Quantum Field on a much deeper level than before.

I am so glad I missed that day of sending the Love. It helped me reorganize and realign my thoughts, and also helped me bring this to a higher level.

I need to inwardly vibrate Aum much more frequently during the day.

I did my session earlier today. Christine and I, along with Amelie, are going to Grandview to move my desk and a few things to Lenexa Kansas.

Inversion table

I got an inversion table, and last night and today, I have spent a few short sessions inverting my body. I got this for this chronic sciatica pain in my butt and right leg. In just a few short sessions, I am grateful to report that I think it is helping. I am cautiously optimistic.

Day 2 - Loving my Om Meditations

This is the second day of my three year journey - part one of a 12 year journey - of transmitting Universal Love through the Sacred Sound of Aum...

I did two 20 minute Om Meditations today, breathing deeply and sending the Om through my hands and into this Exchange. It felt positively fantastic. Truly.

With a deep breath, let all my cells and atoms gently rattle and vibrate, feeling the Earthquake of Om crumble my illusions away.

Day 1 - Aum, Om, Amen - the Mother of all Vibrations

Aum is Love. Om is Love. Amen is Love.

I just completed my very first session of *sending* or transmitting the Sacred Om Vibration into all beings contained in this Exchange. I can definitely feel my hands vibrating more and more. I dedicate the next three years of this process to merging with Om, to melting into Om, to disappearing into Om, and in so doing - to losing myself in Love.

I am counting down my days, from Day 1,095 to Day 1, to help symbolize my intention of sinking deeper and deeper into Om.

I now invoke the Holy, Sacred Sound of Universal Om into every thought, feeling, experience - into every second of every moment of every day - into my cells and atoms, mind and heart - for the next 3 years. For the next three years, I dedicate my mind, body, and spirit to the Sound of Om. In every idle moment, let me inwardly vibrate Om through my being. May I be an empty vessel of Om. May I disappear into Om. Forever vanish into Love. This is my ultimate aim for the next three years.

Here is my thoughts and plans:

1. Floor: For at least 12 minutes every single day in a row for the next 1,095 days, I will chant, merge, vibrate, and transmit the Sacred Sound of Om into all beings who are, or will ever be contained within the pages of the Universal Life Force Energy Exchange. This is the bare minimum.

2. Ambition: To chant, merge, vibrate, and transmit Om into this Exchange in 3 sessions of 20 minutes each, every single day in a row for the next 1,095 days - morning, afternoon, and evening. I will strive with all my might, all my strength, all my soul, to do three 20 minute sessions a day.

3. In every idle moment of my mind, I will chant and vibrate, feel and intone the vibration of Om.

4. Om, Aum, and Amen are the same vibration of Love.

5. When I am transmitting Om into this Exchange - I am playing with time. The next three years is like a cup. Each session of 12 or 20 minutes is filling the entire 3 year cup with the Vibration of Om/Love. So I am bathing every moment of my life, mind, body, emotions - as well as everyone else in this Exchange - of the next three years in the Energy of Om. It is like I am sitting outside of time, and when I breathe deeply and open my heart and chant Om, intending and feeling and directing Om into all contained in this Exchange - I am *sending* into the entire three years - all at once. Love/Om is Omnipresent - in all moments - so on the deeper level - in one session - it is easy to bathe an entire three years in this Energy. So in this way, the Energy is flowing 24 hours a day/ 7 days a week.

5. From sinking into the singular OM - I am one with all beautiful variety. From the ONE OM - comes the multitude of Universes and Dimensions.

6. OM is personal. It is the sound of God/dess, The Divine - loving me personally. As I send the Om into this Exchange - benefitting all contained in this Exchange - I am ultimately sending the Love back to the Divine.

7. In every second of the next 3 years, may I feel the Om that I transmit into the entire 3 years. May all in this Exchange feel the Om in the way that is best for them. It is mind-boggling: in 12 or 20 minutes, I can send Love to an entire 3 years! When we realize ourselves as the Vibration of Love/Om, we will realize that we can do magnificent things!

8. May I be an OM Broadcasting Station at all times. May I always silently communicate OM to every person I am physically around.

9. May I always - no matter how many times I have to - turn back to OM. When my mind wanders, may it always turn back to OM!

Missed a day - starting over......

Well, it happened. I missed a day. Yesterday, I went the whole day without sitting down and transmitting Universal Love into this Exchange. I went 174 straight days, and I am very proud of what I was able to accomplish. So, I am starting over. Today, was the first day. This is good because I feel like I am lifting myself up to a higher level of clarity regarding this practice.

I am thinking about doing this in 1,095 day increments, and I am further thinking about counting the days backwards, from 1,095 to 1. In this way, I am beginning with the end in mind: I have communicated Universal Love through my heart and hands, into this Exchange, for at least 12 minutes a day, for 1,095 days in a row.

Then I will move to the second 1,095 day period. Then the next, and finally, the next, which will come at the end of October, 2021.

1,095 days to 1, with each descending number, may I sink deeper and melt, disappear, further into the Vibration of Love.

This first 1,095 day period, which I could call the first quarter, I will focus on OM, or Aum: the holy sound that gives birth to the Universe and permeates every atom of the Universe. To me, Aum is Love, and Love is Aum.

In my own spiritual tradition, I have a technique that I practice in which I can actually learn to hear the Roar of Om. Om is Energy. Energy is the life-blood of the Universe. We are all Energy. Om is Reiki. Reiki is simply a Japanese word that means Energy.

So, day 1,095 has begun... I have already done one session... I am going to do another, transmitting the Vibration of Aum/Love to all contained in this Sacred Exchange.

170 Days in a row of transmitting the Love/Joy

May I release all of this illusion that I control anything,

that I own anything, that anything belongs to me, that my life belongs to me.

May I surrender this illusion of control at the alter of Love, may I pour my mind out into the stillness beyond time.

I control nothing. I am nothing,

no-thing.

I desire to be empty, totally devoid of desires for me,

for myself,

for all things me.

I have a long way to go, but this desire,

this fire in me,

burns just the same.

Burns away the thought that I control anything.

I am the flow.

Only the flow.

There is no me in the river.

There is only the flow.

Therefore, my goal this day is to give up, completely let-go, become nothing,

not even the air between clouds,

not even the space between the air.

Nothing.

Then the Divine can do with me

as She wishes.

There is no ecstasy greater than

emptiness.

U.L.F.E.E. Day 169

There is no control no power no holding on no making anything happen.
There is only yielding
letting-go
offering my intention to the Universe
and surrendering to the sacred
Ecstatic
Flow

U.L.F.E.E. Day 168

Day 106 of Joy

There can be no ecstasy

without

emptiness.

Again, I pray

empty me

please.

U.L.F.E.E. Day 167 - Joy Joy Joy Joy

Day 107 of Breathing my Whispering Joy

I am committed to deep breathing - to taking at least 48 deep, abdominal Joy-Breaths - filling my abdomen completely while opening my cells, and releasing my breath, totally letting-go. I am up to 36.

Service is Joy

Joy is Service.

If I am focusing my mind on surrendering, on emptying, on dissolving myself in service to Her, the Divine, the Supreme Joy of the Universe, then the Joy in me can blossom like a flower in the soil of my soul.

Divine Joy,

dissolve

me

please.

Fill my empty cup

then allow

me

the honor of

emptying.

Let there be no cup

no ego

time

space

designs

desires.

Let me be

gone.

Let You

Oh Supreme Ecstatic

Joy

take

my

place.

ULFEE Day 166 - Divine Unconditional Joy Bliss Ecstasy

Day 108 of Whispering Bliss

For the next 108 days, I am going to keep my mind focused on the ever-new joy, bliss, & ecstasy that I am. The Divine Bliss. And when I send Energy into this Exchange, I am going to send it as Joy. Ultimately, Joy is Love is Bliss is Ecstasy is the Divine. They are all aspects of the same beautiful Intelligence.

This is like my Joy-Bliss-Ecstasy bootcamp.

For the next 108 days, I will keep my mind concentrated on deeper and deeper levels on Joy-Bliss-Ecstasy.

I will do 48 powerful Joy Breaths every day. Breathing slowly into my abdomen (filling my lungs to capacity) while using my imagination and intention to deliberately open the curtains of my cells, atoms, mind, and heart to the light of my joy. Holding for a few seconds. Then slowly exhaling all the air out of my lungs while completely relaxing in one sweeping release.

I will listen to my whispering bliss affirmation audios before I go to sleep at night and when I wake up.

I will eat light.

I will count my days backwards, from 108 to day 1. With each descending day, I will sink deeper into the bliss and joy that I am.

Unconditional Joy - Unconditional Bliss - Unconditional Ecstasy

Rapture for no reason

I now fill my mind and body with the Joy that needs no name

the Bliss that needs no reason

and the Ecstasy that needs no form

to be.

Day 165

Divine Love,

My mind and body is an empty cup
A transparent vessel of joy.

Fill

me

up.

Day 164

I am the love in your heart
you are the love
in mine.

We are one in the same
love.

There is nothing more
to know.

Day 163 - changes in the way I blog

Announcement: From now on, I am not going to say "I sent the Love" - rather - I am just going to blog from the perspective that I do send the love every day. It has been feeling very monotonous for a long time, but I am stubborn sometimes, and it has taken a long time for me to let go.

Every time I do a "sending Love" meditation, I usually have inspiration thoughts pop into my head. Sometimes I write these thoughts down, and sometimes I don't.

So I am going to begin sharing short inspirational thoughts and poems that come to me during my daily love sending meditations... beginning with this one:

Don't just sit by the river of Love
jump in, disappear,
become the
Flow.

Day 161 - Sent the Love and moved the beds!

Sent the Love today - the Universal Love
Huge day - big - busy - exhausting. I went to a house to pick up a bed from a family who was giving it away on Craigs List. I took the bed apart in 90 degree heat, because the family had it so hot. Then I hauled it downstairs, sweating, and then loaded it in the van. I went from sweating to 35 degree weather, which was shocking to my body. Then Christine and I sold our Sleigh bed, and I helped haul that one downstairs as well. Tons of moving. I am sore and exhausted - but I feel great!

Day 160 - Rough couple of days

Sent the Love early this morning

Thursday, I caught a 24 hour flu bug, and that night it felt like I was going to die. Literally. It was the worst fever I have had in a very long time. I have not missed a day, in sending the Love. I was able to wrap my hands around this book and transmit the sacred Energy of Love into all contained within it on Thursday, Day 158, Friday, Day 159, and this morning. I am having a lot of emotional challenges coming up, relating to this pain in my butt - literally - sciatica pain. I have a nerve getting crushed between two discs in my lower back, and it seems to be chronic, i.e., it won't go away. It is always there. The nagging nature of it is starting to catch up to me emotionally. It's not funny anymore. "My sciatica! My sciatica!" Damn, two years ago I didn't know what sciatica was - but I do now, and I am only 42 years young. I think its a manifestation of early childhood trauma, which is something behind a huge fortress in the layers of my mind and body - something it feels like will never heal. But it will. Eventually, all that ails us will heal. I will keep sending the Love, keep receiving the Love, keep communing in the Love every day. Whatever will be, will be. If I have to live with this pain for the rest of my life, I will.

Day 157 - Feeling better than ever

I just melted into, and communicated the Universal Love
This session was deep, warm, wonderful, and beautiful. I can honestly say that my breathing sessions are really uplifting my mood. I can't tell, yet, whether it will get lifted to the same level that drops of 35% food grade h202 in distilled water gave me, but I do definitely feel uplifted. I did 12 power breaths before I got out of bed this morning, and had a clear head all morning long. I didn't take any energy drinks, instead just took an anti-oxident drink, and then had my yerba tea. I feel so much better today than I did yesterday.

The Love that I feel flow through my heart, mind, and hands during my sessions is tear-producing. It is very beautiful. A glorious feeling beyond words. I am really excited about staying on this journey of sending the Love every day. There are some changes I am feeling inspired to make to the book. One change I have thought about for a long time, is this:

Creating an actual "place" or "mindspace" for me to go to, and for anyone who wishes, to go to as well. I see it as an island paradise, with a curved beach, and high, green mountains towering over the beach, waterfalls pouring off of them. Gentle ocean waves rolling in. Only one rule: unconditional love. The only key that gets you in, is unconditional love. I see this as an "imaginary" space that people gan "go" to in their minds. The more people go to this space, then the more powerful and detailed and real it will be.

Psychologists and therapists alike have long advocated to their patients to create an imaginary safe place to go in our minds. To take a break from the every day stresses of life, and to help in dealing with difficult emotions.

But what about a mind space that more than one person can go to, to either experience the joy of solitide, or to psychically interact with other beings in a total atmosphere of unconditional love? What if, within this space, all the masters, saints, and sages of all religions - those beings who have mastered unconditional love - are invited?

I thought about having a guided relaxation, self-hypnosis script that anyone can listen to, which actually helps the person go within and relax into this creative space.

I am so honored, so grateful, to be feeling the flow of this Love increase, and increase, and increase in my mind and heart.

May you feel this love. Really feel this love flowing through you. Speaking to all who are contained in the quantum pages of my book, of course.

Day 156 - New Breath Experiment

In the last few months I discovered hydrogen peroxide as a method of oxygenating the body and boosting the immune system. H202 is a controversial therapy, especially when it is ingested orally. Here is what I did:

I bought 35 percent food grade h202 from a health food store. Not all health food stores sell it, because it is extremely caustic and poisonous if you get it on your skin or ingest it straight.

Diluted, however, is a different story. One Sunday in July I had a horrible cold, flu, and just felt awful. Thats when I decided to try the h202. So I got the bottle of 35 percent, and I put 3 drops into a glass of distilled water. (I used a dropper that I also bought from the health food store.)

An hour later, I did the same thing. (This must be done on a completely empty stomach - at least .5 hr before eating or at least 3 hrs after eating because it can cause upset stomach - only food grade should be used because store bought h202 has dangerous additives even if it doesn't say so on the bottle)

The next morning, I put just two drops in a glass of distilled water. Then, that afternoon, I put another two drops in a glass of distilled water.

Within 2 days, my symptoms went down 90 percent. Within 4 days, it was gone. I was blown away. A trip to the doctor and antibiotics would have taken about 8 days.

Then I did more research. More thinking.

I took it off and on after that.

Then, after we returned from Ethiopia to get our daughter, I got a really, really NASTY foreign bug, and again, I knocked it out with h202. It took longer, but I did kick it - AGAIN - no antibiotics.

Still, I wonder if it is safe to take orally. There are all kinds of websites about it, and many people do the "cure" where they work up to 25 drops 3 times a day (people with AIDS, CANCER) Doctors in other countries routinely administer h202 for all kinds of ailments, but here, there is a gag on alternative therapies.

So to the point:

A week or so ago, I began taking just 2 drops in the morning, and two in the evening - AGAIN - on an empty stomach and in distilled water. I was depressed when I started taking it, really feeling depressed, glum, totally down. Within 2 days, it totally lifted my mood and I felt extremely good, clear, happy, grateful. It totally knocked out the depression too. But still, I am a but nervous because I don't know what the long term effects would be. I am still amazed at how good I felt.

Now, I haven't taken any in about a week. So I am going to compare, and see if I can replicate the good clear feelings by taking regular deep breaths for specific sessions several times per day. What I do is slowly breath in, filling my lungs all the way up, and then hold for the same count, and then slowly breathe out, emptying my lungs completely.

I've tried the h202 and it worked awesome. Now I am going to try and do the breathing.

I think I am going to take 40 to 60 deep breaths per day, and see if I can lift my mood to the same awesome level that I experienced with the h202.

Day 156 - So grateful to melt into Love

Just emerged from a wonderful session
I truly felt myself melting into Love today. The session was magnificent. I am feeling so much more the energy of this Love flowing through me. It feels fantastic. Having said that, there are changes that I need to make in my habits, eating, lifestyle, etc., and the first is:

taking a break from drinking healthy energy drinks in the morning... I think my body is getting a little fried from drinking them. I have been drinking "Zipfizz" in the morning, along with vitalagy, along with tea, and this morning, I added even more stuff into the coctail, and my brain feels fried. I am feeling tired and energized at the same time, not a good feeling.

And the second thing is...

I am going to begin drinking the all natural, organic, unfiltered apple cider vinegar in the morning, and one cup of yerbe mate tea, and that is it. It is time to simplify my diet as well, so that I may feel this Energy even more.

Day 155 of 4,380 - a full Monday

I sat and melted into Universal Love at around 3:15 today.

It felt really, really magnificent.

I am so grateful for my tears, which tell me in a language only my heart and soul can understand, that the Love is reaching everyone in this book. The Energy is making a difference. I pray that I will lose myself a little more into the Consciousness of Love each time I transmit this sacred Energy through my heart and hands.

Amelie gave us a comedy act today, laughing and shaking and giggling and making a lot of funny faces at the dinner table. We were all laughing a lot. It has been a really good evening.

Day 153, 154 - Feeling the Love more than ever

Sent the Love into this Exchange today
I sat on our bed, a comfortable respite from the onslaught of kids and "look Dad..." and "can I have...." and "puking children on the way to birthday parties" and sent the Love. I could really, really feel the Energy flow effortlessly through my hands and heart, mind and body. It was really wonderful. I am so grateful for this practice. In all the ups and downs and triumphs and daily tragedies of raising 5 kids, having this practice has been a God-send. Although now I am feeling nauseated, unsettled, in my stomach. I am hoping I did not pick up some kind of weird bug when we were at the gymnastics academy for Sky's birthday party.

Sky is a panic ridden control addict
My beautiful 8 year old boy, Sky - my Guatemalan prince, is a total control addict. He has to have control - or better yet - THINK he has control of his surroundings at all times. After I told him that his mom would be moving stuff around in his room to carve out space for his little sister to sleep (his idea, mind you) he began complaining of a headache. Then, as we were driving to HIS birthday party at the gymnastics academy, he puked. Some got in the bag we gave him, some our minivan (named "Vinny") took in the floor mat. Poor Vinny! Then, driving back: he pukes again. Whew.

When we get back, he takes one look at his room, and discovers that it didn't get all swallowed up, he feels better within five minutes. All happy and even giddy for the rest of the night. This desperate need of his to always know what is going on, has at its core, a deep and consuming fear of loss. It is really intense in him. We can work on healing that.

Sky got real mad at me when I told him that he doesn't control the movement of the sun and the moon.

Real mad, indeed.

Deep breath.

Day 151, 152

Transmitted the Reiki/Love/Light/Joy
Feeling fantastic.