April 21, 1967 - April 21, 1968 (Day 2)

I am carrying my baby boy around with me now.

This is my 2nd day of transmitting Universal Love/Energy/Light to the baby within me during my first year of life on this planet, and I can honestly say that I feel like I am healing myself from the very core of my being.

There is a "nursery" or an energetic space opened up in my heart. With each breath in, I open it up even further, and with each breath out, I feel Love flooding into that infant boy that I am.

Just like cups, each day from April 67 to April 68 are filled and overflowing with Light. This morning, during my meditation service, I sat and cupped my hands together. Into that space between my hands, I placed that baby boy. And into that space, I flooded Universal Love.

(There are times that I will sandwich my head between my hands, either with each hand on the front and back or with each hand on the sides of my head, and there are other times that I will simply cup my hands together and mentally place myself during that whole year, between my hands)

As I continued to breathe deeply, flooding Universal Love into him in rhythm and harmony with my breath, I felt that space open up inside me, and I truly believe that I am carrying him around with me. Wherever I walk, whatever I do, there is that deeper me who is holding his little boy. Smiling at him. Laughing. Loving him. Giving him attention, love, safety, nourishment.

I feel like I have reached my arms of love back through time through the power of my intention and creative imagination, and I have stolen him away from that environment, and am now holding him inside the eternity of this now moment. This now moment is huge, brilliant, full of love and light, and I am meeting his needs now.

We are not just adopting a baby from Ethiopia

As my wife and I excitedly wonder what our daughter will look like, how hold she will be, and as we wonder when we will be able to get her home, I am realizing a very powerful truth: I am adopting another child as well. Me.

This morning I imagined that Christine and I drove out to Colorado, out to that small red brick house on Constitution Street in our red Toyota Matrix, and walked in and took that baby, placed him inside a car seat, and drove him back to Colorado.

I imagine bringing him home for our children to see. Sky, my Guatemalan prince, is so sweet and good with babies, I see him loving and nurturing and talking sweet to that baby infant boy.

This makes me cry - thinking of Sky and Christine, Sorin and Andrew and Liam, all celebrating that beautiful life. It really makes me cry. These are tears that nourish me.

BUT... as much as others would love him, in truth, I AM THE PARENT NOW. I am consciously, deliberately, and with all the love and devotion - I am parenting that baby boy now. He is in my energy field. I am carrying him around in the ever expanding vibrations of love in my heart. When he cries, I reach into my heart and comfort him. When he needs food/love, I pull him out and feed him with smiles and laughter and the milk of Universal Life-Force Energy/Love.

I have created a paradise for you, my beautiful boy - a paradise built from the vibrations of Love flowing through my Universal Heart, my Transcendent Heart, the Soul of who we are together. And you are my teacher, too. You are showing me how to love, and you are teaching me how to be loved.

blankets and blankets of Light

As I send Energy and Universal Love into my infant self, I imagine myself holding him, and then I wrap that in swirling blankets and blankets of Light, going round and round and round his small body. This is a beautiful image.

Re-parenting and Re-patterning

On an energetic, emotional level, as I re-parent my infant self, it feels like I am also re-patterning some brain cells and brain connections in the process. By stealing my infant self away from the environment he grew up in, I am creating new connections in my brain, even new positive, healthy memories.

I totally believe that it is never too late to start again in giving myself all that I didn't get, and meeting the emotional needs that were not met, and creating a safe environment now for my infant self that I didn't have then.

In the first year of life, I pretty much stayed at my grandmother's house, because my mom was overwhelmed with all the other children, and my grandma agreed to take me. I don't remember much else, except snippets and vague, cloudy memories.

And my time spent at my grandma's house, as I can emotionally intuit, was spent either being totally smothered in love by my grandma, or being horribly violated by my grandfather. Either total love, or total abuse. So it was really confusing for me emotionally, and traumatic, and loving.

So... for the purposes of right now this instant, I choose, as the powerful, positive, loving man that I am... I CHOOSE to create a consistently safe and consistently loving energetic and emotional environment for that infant baby that I am holding in my heart right now.