First two years of life (Day 2) RESULTS

Yesterday, I started sending Universal Love/Light/Energy into myself in the first two years of my life, from April 21, 1967 through April 21, 1969. The turbulent 60's!

I can truly say this: Universal Life Force Energy, or Unconditional Love, sent back through time, into the infant body, mind, emotions, and self that I was (and am, deep within) really does have an impact.

The Love really is reaching me, surrounding me, cleansing me, healing me, holding me, soaking into me...

I can honestly say that I am feeling real emotional freshness, clarity, and peace.

I am beginning to feel more deeply and fundamentally safe than I ever have in my entire life.

For my whole life, I have had this mortal, cold, deep, penetrating terror and fear within me, and my wife can testify to this, I have always been afraid. Anxiety has always been my constant companion, a dark cloud hanging in my mind, never letting me completely escape.

Well, after about a week of holding my head between my hands, and deliberately and continuously breathing and transmitting Love back in time to myself in my first few years...

I am feeling that cloud break up... I am feeling some rays of the sun peaking through my mind...

It feels like clear energy, freshness, love, feelings of goodness about me, is rising from within me like water coming up a well.

The Love I am sending to, and bathing my infant self with, is rising back up from within me.

Really, really awesome.

What I did yesterday

For about a half-hour, I held my head between my palms, took deep breaths, and sent Love into my infant self. I did this while listening to the 108 Infinite Beingness Questions mixed with really powerful binaural beats. I am feeling so grateful for this process, that I feel very teary.

I always end my session, by doing some alternate EMDR tapping on my body, and going to my safe place. I also go to my safe place when I fall asleep. The more times I "go there" in my mind, the more real it feels.

It almost feels so real, that I could see, touch, taste, smell, and hear myself there. It is really awesome, this ability to go to an imaginary place.

Keeping my heart vibrations high

Now that I am holding, carrying around, and creating a safe place in my heart-vibrations for my infant self to BE, I need to keep those vibrations high. Here is how I do it:

At several times during the day, when I fele frustrated, or stressed, I remind myself that my infant self is in there now, and I then take a deep breath, and as I exhale, I feel the Love in my heart increasing in vibration. I see my heart-chakra spinning at higher rates, and then I see my little boy in there, and wrap him in my inner arms.

I find it extremely awesome, fascinating, and amazing that, even though that often times I was not in a safe place as a small child, I can create a safe place within me for that child NOW. I can create for myself, NOW, what I was not given, THEN.

This makes me smile.

Staying away from trying to drudge up memories or imagine things

There are moments, when I find myself trying to "figure out" what happened to me, or trying to explore memories. And when I do this, I find myself "imagining" what could or may have happened to me. When this happens, I am deliberately stopping myself from doing this. I just move my mind in a different directions, because I don't want to create memories with my imagination.

The truth is this: the stuff that happened, may not ever come up for full conscious awareness, but I do have vague outlines of what happened, and some of it is so scary, that I just don't go there.

I am saving the stuff that has surfaced, the feelings of terror, for my therapist. Most all of it, especially from infant-hood, comes in feelings, not in words, because back then I had no words to describe anything.