Why awaken?

I have really been examining this question a lot lately.

What is the point of asking all these questions? Of doing all this "Oming?" Why awaken? Why do I wish to realize my Infinite Beingness?

Now it is time to tell on myself.

Now that I am in to month three of asking these questions and saturating them into my consciousness, I realize that a huge motivating factor is "ego gratification." A part of me wants other people to look at me and say...

"WOW, look at him, he woke up to his Infinite Beingness, what a great guy he is."

And that part of me would then coo and smile and feel really good.

I realize that so much of spiritual endeavors are hijacked by the ego. So, one major lesson I am learning, is that I am not awakening for myself, but for the opportunity to be of complete service.

This is not about me, God, this is not at all about me. It is about losing myself in service to a Greater Cause.