Day 17 - belly fat and fire breathing

Today, I added a highly concentrated form of Acai Juice to the mix of my daily dose of raw blended vegetables, and I feel really clear headed and fantastic. I feel tons of energy on all levels of my mind and body. Every part of me feels ignited with energy. I feel really fantastic about myself.

Yesterday, and also this morning, I felt over-gorged on raw blended juice. I didn't want to juice this morning, just because of the manual labor part of it. Also, I mixed up less juice today, so I don't feel like my circuits are burning out on green fire!

Right now, I feel really awesome.

I couple of things I am adding to my routine:

1. I am going to do 2 minutes of fire breathing at least 6 times a day. Fire breathing is when you breathe in and out really fast for short intervals. There is more to it than that, but that is the jist of it. What I do, is breathe in and out of my nose or my mouth, while I tighten my abs. As I breathe rapidly, I contract and relax my abs, which is giving me a core workout 6 times a day. I am doing this to:

a. Increase my metabolism,
b. Workout my abs and start shrinking my belly fat,
c. Increase my vibration of love.

2. Of course, the Acai juice. I think that has already made a difference for me.

3. A high-frequency recording of the 108 questions. This is called "silent subliminal" and it is the questions recorded and then transformed into high-frequencies that only the inner ear and the subconscious mind can pick up. When it is playing, it is totally silent, except for a high-pitched scratchy sound that you really have to strain to hear. I played it last night while we slept, and then when I actually listened to the regular version, the questions had a much more powerful feel to them. I felt more absorbed.

4. Belly fat. I am going to start placing my hands on each side of my belly, breathing deeply, and channeling Universal Love and Life Force Energy into my belly fat. This is a way for me to begin to forgive and release the thoughts that I am holding in my consciousness that is causing the belly fat. I am also beginning to clearly see the reasons that I have gained my belly over the last 10 to 13 years.

a. One proposed reason: When I became a lawyer, I had only the intention of doing it for a few months. I hated the law, and I hated everything about the prospect of practicing law. haha. My dad plopped 7500.00 down on the bed and handed it to me in cash. Being a poor and broke student for so long, I had never seen that much money in my whole life, much less held it in my hand. So, I blew it in one weekend. Plus, the person my dad got all that cash from was a really dangerous, mean, angry looking criminal, so I felt slimy. Then those three months turned into 6 months, turned into a few years. I always felt like I "sold" my highest ideals for 7500.00 of drug money, and so eating lots and lots of food became a way to bury that guilt.

Looking back, with the power of hindsight, I see that everything happens for a reason. Practicing law has brought me immense personal and financial benefits. I was able to do things that I wouldn't be able to do on a waiters salary. Being a lawyer has enabled me to meet my beautiful wife, and being a lawyer has provided us with the abundance to adopt two incredibly beautiful boys from abroad, and being a lawyer is bringing yet another daughter home from Ethiopia (hopefully this year). So, it has all been a blessing.

I still feel like there are parts of the law that I cannot stand, and still, it does feel like a compromise for me. There are times that I have to do things, say things, represent certain people, that really makes my skin crawl. I deal alot with people who don't care about there lives, and then when their case goes south (because of their actions) they blame me.

I would desperately like to have a vocation that truly reflects my deepest values. The law isn't it, yet it is enabling me to do the things that are in alignment with my deepest values. I have written numerous books, recorded tons of audios, and experienced many awesome retreats - all because of the financial abundance that the practice of law brought me.

Even with all that, the thought is still there, and I recognize that I have been burying the guilt of "selling out" with food for 14 years. I am not a sell out, I am a good, loving, responsible, creative, and spiritual human being who happens to practice law to make a living. (For the moment, anyway)

b. Another proposed reason. Back in 1995 I was really getting to the core of some childhood abuse issues, and experiencing some really, genuine breakthroughs. At that point, I went to a Rolpher, who sexually abused me on the massage table. I was in a vulnerable position, and he did some really weird stuff to me. I quit going, but the trust between me and the pain I was connecting with, was completely severed. That is when I really started to eat a ton of chicken fried steak and mashed potatoes, because I was emotionally freaked out.

All of this stuff is in my belly fat, and it is time to emotionally let got of these thoughts that I am holding in my belly. For the whole 8 years of marriage with my wife, I have had this bulging belly. It has been a third companion in our marriage, and I have made many jokes about it, sticking it out, laughing about it. I have become identified with this excess fat on my midsection. I have tried many times to get rid of it, but it always comes back, because of this reason:

To be fat is to be safe. Fat is a really wonderful thing to hide behind.

Until I heal the thoughts that I am holding in my belly, I will have this belly for a really, really long time. And belly fat is extremely toxic. It is like carrying around a landfill on my body. All sorts of ugly, dangerous, nasty chemicals come out of that area of my body.

This is why I am going to begin to daily hold my hands gently on my belly, breathe deeply and continuously, and pour the light of pure love into all that fat. It is time to consciously let go of Mr. Belly. He needs to move on.