Day 24 - I invoke the Archetype of Gandalf and I invoke Yukteswar

Positive Anger







This morning, like a geyser, comes this negative, critical, angry voice in me. This is the part of me that is happy being in a small, limited cave of consciousness. It has been "putting up" with me for the past 24 days, but this morning came up strong. It started with getting angry when I got downtown to go to court and realized I didn't have change for parking, so I had to shell out 5 bucks to park....



Then the dark cloud began to form over my thoughts. This voice, this dark, cranky, irritated-at-everything voice began to get louder and louder. Normally, I shrink when that voice comes up. I whine. I get depressed. I overeat. I go shopping. I divert away from my feelings. This time, I got mad!



"Who the %&#* do you think you are in expanding your consciousness. I don't want to expand. I am quite happy staying small and angry! Who are you, thinking you could do this!?! You must be insane!" The voice is like the sound of thunder during a thunderstorm, and it also feels like a big sledgehammer coming down on top of my head.



"I am a child of an Infinite God! Who the #*$&%& are you! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!!"



With that statement, I called upon a combination of the Archetype of Gandalf and Yukteswar, and imagined that I had a staff in my hand, and when I said:



GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!



I slammed my wizard staff onto the floor of my consciousness, and saw and felt an explosion of light rippling out around me in all directions.



I am NOT going to be pushed down by these old, ugly, renegade thoughts that come up and try to haunt me. They will get the HELL OUT of my house, OUT of my consciousness, OUT of my body, OUT!