Day 9

12 Minutes of Universal Love - check!

After going to court in the Kansas City Kansas Municipal Court (Bizzarro-world - my client's "no-insurance" ticket transformed itself in the computer to" improper bicycle riding," beats me!) I got to my office and then spent an hour typing up a divorce decree for a court date of my client tomorrow. Something I didn't want to do, but I am glad its done.

After that, I sat on my office sofa and flooded the Love for 12 minutes. (Actually, it was around 14 minutes, but I usually go over just a few minutes.) It was a much needed break from the world.

I put my daughter's, (Amelie) photo on top of a print out of the cover of the book, and then sent the Love. I imagined her receiving that Love - maybe it caused her to laugh? I truly believe that she does feel it!

Tired brain

I am feeling whiny because I had to get up early two days in a row. Monday I want to see a cardiologist at 7:00 a.m. sharp, (clean bill of health) and today, I had to leave at 7:00 a.m. for Bizzarro-World.

Right now, my brain feels half-awake, like I have this bowling ball on my head, pushing down on my head. Which makes it harder to fully and clearly express my ideas.

Sadness

Last night, Christine and I watched the last segment of "We Shall Remain" , which is a 5 part series on American History, seen through the eyes of Native Americans. Last night, the subject was about the siege of the American Indian Movement of the town of Wounded Knee in the 1970s. When we were finished watching, I sank into a melancholic, floaty sadness. This country was built on destroying and murdering an entire race of people - beautiful, wonderful, rich, and spiritual people. It felt like I was floating in a dream.

Then, continuing this journey of bringing in the Energy of Love through me every day, I started thinking deeper about it.

If I believe that bodies are solid matter, and this is "all there is," that there is nothing beyond what our five senses can feel, then I must surely live in hell. Everywhere I look, I see genocide, one group of people murdering another group of people, insanity, everything being backwards.

However, if I believe that bodies are transparent vibrations of Energy and Light, then I can take everything less seriously, and I am not so completely overwhelmed with sadness for my Native American brothers, mothers, and sisters. I can see that those Native people, they didn't die. They lived on. Their Spirits picked up and moved forward. But I am still deeply saddened and outraged - but I have a little better perspective.

This reminds me of a part of the book "Autobiography of a Yogi" by Paramahansa Yogananda. There was a place in that book where Yogananda describes being in meditation, and then being transported into a body of a man who gets killed in war. Right at the point of dying, he came back to meditation, only to go back again into the body of the man...

"Lord," I prayed, "am I dead or alive?"

A dazzling play of light filled the whole horizon. A soft rumbling vibration formed itself into words:

"What has life or death to do with light? In the image of My light I have made you. The relativities of life and death belong to the cosmic dream. Behold your dreamless being! Awake, My child, awake!"

Then on the next page, this chapter jumped out:

"Lord," I prayed, "why dost Thou permit such suffering?"

To my intense surprise, an instant answer came in the form of a vision of the actual European battlefield. The scenes, filled with the dead and dying, far surpassed in ferocity any representation of the newsreel."

"Look intently!" A gentle Voice spoke to my inner consciousness. "You will see that these scenes now being enacted in France are nothing but a play of chiaroscuro. The are the cosmic motion picture, as real and as unreal as the theater newsreel you have just seen - a play within a play."

My heart was still not comforted. The Divine Voice went on: "Creation is light and shadow both, else no picture is possible. The good and evil of maya must ever alternate in supremacy. If joy were ceaseless here in this world, would man ever desire another? Without suffering, he scarcely cares to recall that he has forsaken his eternal home. Pain is a prod to remembrance. The way of escape is through wisdom. The tragedy of death is unreal; those who shudder at it are like an ignorant actor who dies of fright on the stage when nothing more has been fired at him than a blank cartridge. My sons are children of light; they will not sleep forever in delusion."

page 272 and 273 Autobiography of a Yogi


So, in my heart, I commit my mind, body, and heart deeper to Love.

To my Native Mothers, Brothers, and Sisters - I love you all. My heart weeps at the wholesale destruction of your culture at the hands of my ancestors, and I extend my heart of Love to you. And my heart leaps with joy to know that you were not killed, but Remain forever on the Field of Light that our Great Spirit has made. Your heart, your beauty, your strength and soul as a people shall live forever.

To my ancestors, to those Europeans who came to civilize the savages, my heart also weeps with cold, icy sadness at the thought of your arrogance, greed, and widespread ignorance. I weep, because I know this truth: What you did these Native Americans, the murder, the disease, the taking of their land, YOU DID TO YOUR VERY OWN SOUL.

What we do to another, either ill or good, we do to our very own soul.

This is a wound you inflicted on HUMANITY!

And my heart also soars into freedom at the truth, that YOU TOO, will not "sleep forever in delusion." That your souls will rise into Love like a Phoenix.