Day 4 - Benefit

I can say I have my first tangible benefit from this practice of channeling Love through my hands for 12 minutes a day.

My son, Andrew, bless his magnificent heart, does not believe that he deserves things. We adopted him from an Indian Orphanage at one month shy of his 7th birthday. During his time there, he was not treated well, physically, mentally, or emotionally. He has A LOT of issues.

This "not deserving" thing manifests as tearing things up, breaking things, ripping things apart. Things we buy for him, most always gets broken. He does it intentionally.

Tonight, he got in trouble because he tore up a gift that Christine had bought him right when we got him home. After he got in trouble with Christine, I went into his room. Previous times, I would get frustrated and raise my voice and then end up just putting him to bed.

But this time: something came over me. I spoke to him with more calmness than I have ever spoken to any of my kids. I spoke to him with love. Softly. He started laughing at me, and I said, "You are in a lot of pain. That is why you are laughing. You are hurting. Your trying to cover it up with a smile."

Then I told him he tears things up because he doesn't believe he deserves any of this.

Then he melted, and tears welled up in his eyes. I had a long, gentle talk with him, not an exasperated, frustrated talk that ended with me just putting him to bed.

Love - Love - Love - I see the warm rays of Love penetrating his heart and helping him believe that YES - YES I DO deserve all the good, all the Love, all the hugs and toys that life has to offee.